Slytherins Aren't All That Bad
by Bacardi Breezer
Summary: Hermione gets stuck in a thunderstorm with Draco Malfoy miles from Hogwarts, while they nag everything good out of each other and resort to arguing over a chocolate bar.
1. Stuck in a Thunderstorm

**Ch 1**

**Stuck in a Thunderstorm

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Disclaimer:i don't own Harry Potter characters or related JK Rowling creations.

if i did, i wouldn't be writing it online free, would i? no ho ho sireee i'd be making millions of buckaroos off of it.

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"Nooooo! Stop! STOP!" Hermione cried as the last coach left without her to Hogwarts.

_Great, now I'm stuck here._

She looked up at the overcast sky with malcontent. A flash of lightning lighted the sky. _Perfect_ she thought as the first wet droplets pelted her face. The rain buzzed louder and soon Hermione was soaked to the bone.

"Shit! I just got my hair done! Ugh, could you rain any harder? she yelled. The rain began to pour uncontrollably.

_Could things just get any worse?_

"If I didn't know any better I'd have thought you were American," came a voice from behind her. Hermione gasped.

_When I said could things just get any worse, I DIDN'T MEAN IT SERIOUSLY!_

"My, my, my. If it isn't our little mudblood all wet. What is she doing out here all alone?"

"Malfoy," she acknowledged hoarsely. "What are you doing here?"

'That's my business. And – " Draco Malfoy's voice was drowned out by an earsplitting rumble. The rain kept falling harder. Torrents of gushing water had caused both of them to be drenched.

"Let's find cover – and make for higher ground," she yelled over the noise looking up at his face.

His eyes however were not resting on her face but looking her up and down. _Gosh Malfoy just checked me out_.

Hermione Granger had a beautiful face, and an equally perfect body to go with it. She had changed alot and unbeknownst to her she was the new boy candy. ;) Now Draco Malfoy was noticing those changes with enjoyment.

"Yeah whatever," he said as his silver eyes turned away and scanned the horizon carelessly. There was something sexy about him, and Hermione had to admit it to herself, although grudgingly.

Draco Malfoy was not even thinking about what she was saying, just glad that he had found another human in this vast wilderness. Even if it was the mudblood. _But now she's a sexy mudblood _he told himself

They slushed through the mud, following Hermione's suggestion, but suddenly she found herself slip. She landed squat on her butt. Trembling she got up with a hand offered by Draco. She looked down at her skirt and miserably found it was stained with mud.

"Noooo," she moaned desperately.

Draco gave a funny smile that unintentionally held seductiveness. "What?" she asked.

"I just imagined you moaning 'Yeeees' instead of 'Noooo.'"

_Omg_ thought Hermione, her face reddening. _How could he just say that outright? What a pervert. _

_Hmm… but a sexy pervert._

_Stop it with the Draco Malfoy is sexy thing already Hermione! Really, he doesn't havea shred of decency! How could he just SAY that!_

_But he is good looking._

_Shut up! He's NOT good looking and he's NOT sexy. Got it? _

The baffled rage in her face showed but he didn't seem to care. The tension between them mounted and suddenly Hermione was in his arms his lips pressed against hers.

_How did that happen?_ she wondered

Hermione lost herself in a blank state devoid of thought as they kissed passionately. She lifted her hand to his his hair and seductively ran her hands through it. His hands glided down her wet back. She drew away for air, her breathing quicker.

"Malfoy, no…" she said unsure of herself. She hardly knew where she was or what she was doing. He held up a finger to her lips. Slowly he began kissing her neck, his other hand stroking her lower back.

"Malfoy. Malfoy no! MALFOY!" she screamed but was silenced when he began kissing her mouth.

He could feel her trying to push herself away. He felt himself annoyed with the little mudblood. God she didn't know how to enjoy herself. What was her fucked up problem anyway?

She seemed equally annoyed, fire in her eyes. Clearly it seemed she always had her way with the opposite sex. Draco Malfoy however didenjoy this attitude and an expression of amusement was subtly present on his facial features.

She crossed her arms and bit her lip. Her wet hair hung in loose ringlets. She shook her head, mainly in disappointment at herself, and began to walk away. He decided to follow her. It wouldn't do to leave her out here alone. Strange how hate can flare into passion, then translate itself back into a faint loathing.

"Get lost Malfoy!" she called behind her.

Oh sorry, I guess the "faint loathing" was misplaced. Perhaps "extreme loathing" would better describe Hermione's feelings for him.

"Are you sure?" he asked as if he had some secret she needed to know.

"YES!"

"Ook…" he said in a teasing voice. He effortlessly strided out of her view, and soon vanished behind the trees.

_Ok, so I'm alone now. But no need to panic! I'll get myself out of this. Gosh what the hell was I thinking to kiss Malfoy back! _

_Butyou kinda enjoyed it…_

_Ugh you're back again! Shut up, will you?_

She walked steadily through the glistening grass, rain still increasingly bucketing the earth, until one foot began to sink into a muddy heap.

_Aaaah! Gross! No I'm not going to call Malfoy for help, my pride is greater than that. I don't need his help._ _Besides, I'm so embarrassed at myself. I lack proper restraint when I'm around him. How irresponsible I was... I don't need Malfoy's help._

Mustering all her strength, she jumped, then carefully hoisted out the leg covered in mud up to the knee.

_See_ she thought, breathing in deeply,_ I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I don't need Malfoy! Nope! I'm juuusst fine by myself._

She kept walking, making for a lower area. Of course she had read that in a thunderstorm you should crawl on all fours if it got really bad but – she didn't feel the need to resort to that just yet.

_It's ok Hermione. Your power lies in your calmness. Just keep calm –_

"AAAAHH!" she yelped as a bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree.

"MALFOY! I'm sorry! Come back!"

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A/N did u like it? Althoughyou may think Hermione was ooc, everyone is when they are panicked. and draco malfoy... very _in _character i must say. Ever the womaniser. 

btw im not an alcohol freak as my username suggests. but bacardi breezers are really good. lol.

please write your honest opinion in your reviews. i don't mind criticism as long as it has an intelligent basis. varda, really sorry bout putting the new "boy candy" thing in it but it's hillarious!

promise i'll update soon!


	2. On Fire

**Ch 2 **

**On Fire**

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Are you supposed to write a disclaimer every ch? Note to all my previous reviewers at the end of my story.

ps: ocardevoli how was france lol?

Thoughts are in italics.

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"MALFOY! I'm sorry! Come back!" 

Draco Malfoy was lying against a rock, legs crossed and relaxing. _What the fuck? Is that Hermione calling me back?_

He followed the direction of her voice and could not suppress the large smirk crawling up his face. _Hermione's really calling me back! Someone wake me up!_ The rain was subsiding. Draco's socks were wet and made a squeaking noise whenever he took a step.

"Called mudblood dear?" he asked.

"Don't call me mudblood!" she snapped. _Don't call me dear either._

"Well someone's ungrateful," he said mockingly.

But when he looked down at her and saw her pitiful condition he almost felt sorry. She was huddled on the ground with a large stack of wet wood and a pile of used matches.

"You don't know how to build a fire, do you?" he said.

Hermione seethed inside. "No I don't. I'm sure you do though, so please, enlighten me."

_If enlighten has a dirty meaning, I'd be glad to._

"Do you have matches?"

"Not anymore," she said looking down at the used pile. "Oh wait! I have these two left." She handed him the matches and sat back to watch.

"First, you have to use dry wood," he said, grabbing some dry branches from the pine tree above them. "Then, you light the match and voila! The wood catches on fire."

Hermione couldn't stand his smug expression. But suddenly, his haughty look turned to one of horror as the flame went out.

"Oh, good job," she said sarcastically.

"GEEZ! I still have one more!"

"Omg you said 'geez' I'm so intimidated," she said cynically.

"Just because I refrain from swearing in front of you does not mean I can't, so shut up or I will!"

"So what? You think I care if you swear!"

"I don't care what you think, I care what I think! MOI! In case you didn't notice, I'm the one both saving us from pneumonia by building this fire."

"Shut the fuck up you arrogant bastard!" she yelled. "You know what! JUST GO! I don't need your help! I'll figure it out by myself. And 'in case you didn't notice' the flame WENT OUT! You don't know how to build a fire! So stop acting all smart, because you're _not_!"

Draco watched incredulously. _Did she just say fuck up to me? Ok, she's called me arrogant bastard before, but fuck up? Her? The bookworm-perfect-teacher's-pet girl who's never sweared in her life? I bet she's even a virgin. This nun is swearing at me?_

"Hermione! Don't you DARE say fuck up to me again."

"Why? What are you going to do? Start a fire? Guess what FUCK UP!"

In anger he grabbed her shoulder with one hand and squeezed her arm with the other.

"Oww! Get off! You're such a bully!"

"See, this is what happens if you say 'fuck up' to me!"

He pushed her hands into the pine tree behind them, mostly for protection from the slapping machine arms of hers.

Rage was sparking like lightning. Hermione's cheeks went red. What was he doing?

"Malfoy! GET OFF!"

He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. His tongue entered her mouth, gliding smoothly. He bit Hermione's lower lip and felt her soft moan. As he was doing so, his grip became softer.

"Malfoy," she said, turning her head away from him and holding a painful expression on her face.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know what I'm doing. This is all crazy. We're supposed to be enemies." His silver blue eyes looked at her face with confusion. _Do we have to be enemies?_ he wondered.

"Let's forget about that for now," he said, pulling her closer. He trailed kisses down her neck, stopping at where her shirt ended at her chest. She ached for relief. Malfoy was sucking on her lips again, then let his tongue trace inside her mouth. Hermione gasped for air. He really was making her lose her breath.

"Shall I stop for now?" he asked with a smirk, his arm on her waist pushing her nearer to him. She brushed her sweaty forehead.

"You still have a match left," she reminded. His smirk turned into a smile.

"Ok, I'll show you how Malfoys make a fire," he said, giving her a last kiss she couldn't get herself to draw away from.

He took the last match, and carefully striked it against the match box. When it was ablaze, he dropped it onto the pile. Tension was in the air as they both leaned in to watch it. The match burned for a few seconds, then went out.

"Oh no," said Hermione, sounding like she was going to cry.

Draco suddenly sat bolt upright. "Hey! What are matches when you've got wands!" He grabbed his bag and dug through its contents. "It got to be here somewhere—" He emptied the bag on the floor and picked through the clutter.

"Where is it?" he asked desperately. Hermione layed against the pine tree and closed her eyes.

"Professor McGonagall took them on the train after we wouldn't stop hexing each other, remember?" She had just pronounced both of their doom.

Draco stared down at his bag sadly. _We're both going to die. Such a shame really I was looking forward to Christmas this year._ Suddenly, something on the floor caught his eye.

"Hey! I thought I lost it! My box of matches!"

Soon a roaring fire was going and Draco was watching it with a pleased expression.

"You know, we should hang these wet clothes up over the fire or we'll get sick. Wet clothes are the best way to get pneumonia." She looked behind her at a large green bush.

"You can take that side of the bush, and I'll go behind that bush there."

"Oh come on! You're being so immature about this!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY! I'm NOT going to stand in front of you in only my bra and underwear!"

_I knew it! She's a virgin._

"Actually, I think I'd rather enjoy that."

"As much as I appreciate your sense of humor, I'd rather not have any of it right now," Hermione snarled.

"Fine, you tell me when your back aches enough to come out, because I'm NOT standing behind some bush so little miss virgin can have her peace of mind."

"So what if I'm a virgin?" she asked, her face growing red.

"Aha! I knew it!"

Draco set down a log which he used as a bench, and hung his clothes over the pine tree branches to dry. _Ouch he's right my back does ache._ She endured about two whole minutes, before she came out, her arms huddled over her chest.

"Think of it like your wearing a bikini," Draco said with a wink.

_Shut up!_ she thought. His ill humor was really annoying.

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A/N lol next update will be in 3 weeks sry! I say lol way too much. i felt hermione needed to put draco into his place cuz he was getting too arrogant. 

**MrsTomFelton007**: lol I liked the "new boy candy" part too. Next chapter (ch3) will have the most hilarious part so stick around for some laughs.

**radiofreegirl**: yeah, I don't know why she ended up kissing him it was kind of unexpected. I guess it was because I was listening to the radio and right then Candy Shop came on lol.

**gazette**: glad to see there are others who like Bacardi breezers too!

**demonluver**: hope u found ch2 just as amusing.

**kissmyfoot**: I plan a lot of funny scenes and action for later chapters so it might get good.

**DracohasAHOTbum**: tanx! My chaps may be weird sometimes but they're worth reading.

**ocardevoli**: haha! Sry! I totally misspelled your name in my profile. Anyway I still don't get your name. you're right, Draco is pushy in my story but it suits him. thanx i'll feel free to use your humor. In my story its kind of cloudy cuz it's a thunderstorm. I could make Draco secretlyfrom aEuropean country nextto MoldoviaLOL.

**melissafelton-622**: thanks! sorry if my update wasn't that soon. I was actually planning to update the day before yesterday, but as things go I can barely ever get stuff done on time.


	3. The Chocolate Bar

**Ch3 **

**The Chocolate Bar**

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Thanks for all those who've reviewed, love you guys! 

And sorry for not updating for so long.

**Disclaimer**: only plot is mine, all else J.K. Rowling's, etc.

Thoughts in italics!

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Hermione sat in front of a blazing fire in the middle of a forest wearing only underclothes, whilst staring across at her worst enemy in only boxers whom she had snogged in the last 30 minutes and who was smirking uncontrollably at the sight of her self-conscious face. 

The rain had stopped and a cold wind was blowing. Hermione had not eaten for a long time and was getting extremely hungry.

Then she spotted it. The most beautiful thing she had seen in the past two hours.

_Other than Draco's sexy body. _

_Hermione WHERE is your mind wandering? _she thought, angry at herself.

There it was.A chocolate bar half-exposed from Draco's bag.

"You have food!" she said, reaching for the chocolate hungrily.

"Oh yeah, my chocolate bar. Hmm, good you found it, I was getting hungry," he said, hastily unwrapping it and putting it in his mouth.

"Give me some!" Hermione cried indignantly.

"Why should I?" he said with him mouth full of chocolate.

"Because – because – just give me some."

"No, I'm not."

"I'm warning you Malfoy, when I get my wand back –"

"Listen, I'm hungry, so don't just think about yourself, Hermione, you're so inconsiderate."

"You have NO RIGHT to call me by my first name. And the chocolate, give it here," she said angrily, grabbing it and wrestling it out of his hands.

"Come now, no need to be so immature—hey! Give-me-that-back," Draco said through bared teeth.

Hermione, in only underclothes, pulled and stumbled and fell onto Draco.

_Oh gosh, it would look bad if someone found us like this _she thought.

Draco, although smirking profusely, managed to take the chocolate back, but, seeing Hermione lunge at him, trying to protect himself and his prized chocolate, he let his grip on the chocolate bar slip. And amidst attempting to keep his bones intact, dropped it –straight into the fire.

As we can see, having no food initiates a strange psychological condition in which victims who are not that hungry (and hate each other in the first place) have reacted to a life instinct.

"Draco –what have you done?" Hermione said in a sobered whisper.

"Oh, glad to see we're back on first-name terms," he said cheerfully.

"DRACO MALFOY, YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE!" she said, seething.

Draco, laughing inside, thought _Mission 1: drive Hermione insane –accomplished. Mission 2: get her to sleep with me --in the process._

"_Why_ are you smirking at a time like this? I'm starving and on the verge of converting to cannibalism so unless you want to be my next meal WATCH OUT," Hermione said dangerously.

"Count me in if you had an obscene meaning in mind. Or was that a threat of killing me?"

"It was a threat," she said, fuming.

"Had, I'd like to see you try to kill me. It'd be the other way around alot sooner with your bloody bickering all the time."

"Oh _please_. You kill me? You couldn't kill a fly."

"Of course I wouldn't," he said solemnly, " there are _spells_ for that. Seriously, what age do you live in?"

"Actually that's an expression," Hermione said, feeling exasperated.

"Well, one of us should go find some more dry wood for the fire."

"After you ate the only food we had, not to mention dropped it in the middle of the fire – honey if anything that'll be you.

"_Oh_, nice to see you feel that way about me."

"Keep dreaming Malfoy–"

"What if I die in the woods? Wouldn't you feel sorry?"

"I'd feel thankful."

"Fine. Anyway, while I'm gone, cook up something for us to eat."

"What? I can't cook! And _what_ would I cook?"

"I don't know, that's for you to figure out, _you're_ the woman."

"But I can't do _miracles_."

"You can do miracles with my heart, darling. No, actually with my erection."

"That was sick and wrong in so many ways…"

"Right then, I'll be off."

With an amused expression, Hermione watched the shivering form in only boxers walk away into the distance. She lay her head back on the bush and rested, feeling the pleasant warmth of the fire go through her cold body. Within minutes she was fast asleep.

She dreamt of chocolate bars and wearing dry clothes, then of Christmas and Malfoy and a delicious roast turkey dinner. Aaah, she could almost smell the meat roasting…

She woke to the sound of Draco's voice. "What's cooking, pretty-looking?"

"What a cheap use of word-play. But nothing's cooking, I told you I can't cook."

"What's that smell then?"

"I don't know, but it smells like roast turkey," Hermione commented.

Draco's gaze diverted to the fire.

"Oh shit! Oh SHIT! MY BLOODY BAG IS ON FIRE!"

He dived into the fire like a madman, attempting to rescue his bag form its horrible ashy death. Patting it desperately to free it from the flames, his hands were blistering. Finally he succeeded in saving his bag, and gave Hermione an exhausted look.

"Well, we don't have any matches now."

"It's okay, next time Neville will give me more."

"What do you mean?"

"Neville created a bunch of matches while trying to transfigure the hairs on his leg into galleons."

"Oh, that explains the disgusted look Snape had when he tossed me the matches and said, 'Here, Malfoy.'"

"I'll go see if our our clothes are dry."

"Actually I'd rather keep staring at your gorgeous body."

"What? I didn't hear you," Hermione called.

"Nothing," Draco sighed. He'd always wanted things he couldn't have.

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Ha! finally finished this chapter. hope you enjoyed. No idea when i can next update but hopefully in about a week. 


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